One thing that I am passionate about is to stock up on the memorable things others have unwittingly said in my presence. These quotes both chronicle snippets of my life as well reveal the quirky (read stupid) things I find funny. If I can't laugh at people's faces, I'll surely laugh at what they said, even if it's at my own expense. I consider self-deprecation to be a strength. Keep checking this website for quotable updates. I'll start off with the earliest quotes that I can dredge up from memory and end with the most recent. If I haven't updated this in a while, it means that I'm no longer surrounded by funny people.

"As you sow, so shall you rip"

"And then a hero comes along, with the strength to carry Aun."

"In my O' levels I got an A, in my A' levels, I got an O."

"And then Mr. Green will become Mr. Fire."

"I couldn't figure it out if he was Black or Pakistani, Black or Pakistani. Turned out he was both."

"So you had time to put on your makeup but you couldn't come to class on time!" (Pelin when I once walked into class late).

"Sharmin, you look like a grasshopper." (Pelin when I wore full green one day).

"Sharmin Spencer, you and I, only the ugliest guys ever like us." (Pelin)

"I don't follow the Bible, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. For me, I do unto others as I don't have them do unto me." (Sohrab Khan)

Sharmin, if you didn't have Umar, the only guy you could have is Derek Wilcox (Sohrab Khan. This was a LONG time ago).

"He is the King of Contrived Crises"

"Do you know any Pakistinian princesses? (No!) Well, I do!"

"Frieder said, 'what are you doing?' in his German voice."

"She has a little mind that hides behind big words."

"I will drive up to work on my first day in a big Hummer, park in the front and say WHELL."

"If you don't find a job, you could always work at McDonald." (Sasha Chernyshenko to a PhD grad).

"I have a dream. My dream is to dream many dreams."

"The worst thing about UIUC is the town. It's ugly."

"I felt like I was serving with a racquet made of lead."

"I told God that if he let me win Wimbledon, he can let me lose every other match I ever played again."

"Ever since I got to know you, I've become very happy. It is good to know that there is care from the globe."

"My presentation went great! I had Pam in my pocket. I damn near got a standing ovation."

"Sharmin, will you move into the Atrium with me? (hahahahahaha!) And I will kick you out one month after I hear that annoying laugh."

"Where's my baked ziti? Where's my baked ziti? ... Looks like my baked ziti didn't make the cut!"

"Reeshad, goddammit, you look gooood!"

(Wayne only likes to play solitary sports) "See, I have a theory about that, it means he sucks."

"Why do people keep saying my girlfriend is so pretty? I'm a good piece of meat too!"

"What's going on down here in 230? Every time I walk by, you and Jill are talking. Talking like little children."

"Reeshad, how many people are there in India? (About a billion). So that means that about a billion people can beat you at squash." (Five years later...) "I said that?? What an a$$^&*L"

"Sharmin, are people in Pakistan skinny or fat? (Skinny) So you're one of the fat ones, I guess."

"I LOATHE work. Now when Chuck Hulin asks "What is work?" I will say, 'work SUCKS!'"

"Sharmin, why are you going back to Karachi? They will steal your ticket and sell it for $10,000. How will you come back? (Looking down at me) Can you swim?"

(Patrick, will you take me to the body shop?) "I'll take you to ANY body shop! I'll oil all your..."

(People in glasshouses should not throw stones) "Oh yeah? What kind of house are YOU living in?"

(Why do you only like to take a shower when I'm around?) "I don't know, maybe there's something about you that makes me feel dirty."